Marriage is a Mission

“The point of marriage isn’t marriage.  

It’s a picture.  

A display.   

A window that you look through to something else.    

A marriage has a mission.”   

“When we go to a wedding, maybe we’re so moved because we want this new couple to succeed.  We intuitively know that their ‘success’ is somehow tied to ours.  Their making of love makes the world a better place to live, a place where there is more love for all of us.  Maybe this is why we always notice great marriages.  When their love is growing, it inspires us.  Their life together gives us life.”  

Rob Bell

If you have been praying one day or many, for Kingdom Marriages, let me encourage you with some great news!  Several people who have prayed with 1 + 1 = One have recently been married or will be walking down the aisle in the next few months.  CONGRATULATIONS to all!   

Last weekend I was privileged to witness the exchanging of vows for Shannon and Scott B (they eloped a month before.)  As I watched and listened to the ceremony, it was clear that the joining of Shannon and Scott was designed by God for His divine purposes.  Not only is their marriage a blessing for each of them individually, but they have a mission to fulfill together that they cannot accomplish apart.  Shannon and Scott pressed through the many obstacles and nay-sayers, and they told the hindering mountains to move, trusting that God had brought them together, for such a time as this.  

Friends and family together blessed the couple, and I was sincerely rejoicing for them and with them.  I must admit to the tension between the joy i felt for this marriage, and the pang in my heart from a break up two months earlier.  Perhaps this is familiar to you too.  I saw two of my dear unmarried friends near the front, and wondered if they were feeling the same tension, because I know they are both hoping and praying for their Kingdom man to show up soon.  We rejoice with those who are rejoicing and celebrating, and we choose to hope and rest in the truth that God is indeed bringing people together in marriages.  

Choose to BELIEVE that our prayers are effectual!  We are moving the mountains that are standing between people who are aching to meet their Kingdom marriage partner! 

Declare and pray....  

Thank you dear LORD for the marriage of Scott and Shannon, and for fresh hope!  Thank you for the recent marriages this past summer, and the weddings coming in the months ahead.  Lord YOU have a much larger purpose in these marriages, and you have given us the desire in our hearts for marriage.  We declare that we delight ourselves in the Lord, and He will give us the desires of our hearts.  We declare that the JOY of the Lord is our strength, and we choose to hope and believe that God is directing our steps each day closer to the person He has chosen for each of us for a powerful marriage.  

One of the scriptures read for Scott and Shannon was Zechariah 4:6-7, so from the blessing of their marriage, we declare the word of God:  

“This is the word of the LORD to (you):  ‘Not by might nor by power, but by My SpiritSays the LORD of hosts.’  
Who are you, O great mountain? 
Before (us) you shall become a plain!
We shout GRACE, GRACE to the mountains hindering marriages!  

AMEN!  and I am ...  

Expecting to be amazed ~

Barbara

© Barbara Nelson – 2012

Running Brides

"I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."  When Harry Met Sally

I may not know WHO that somebody is, but I can see him, and I have decided to run.  (Not literally, because I gave up running many years ago!)  I am choosing to run to the vision I have for my future, and not get stuck in the present. That run might require some protective gear!  (see Ephesians 6:10-18) 

"My brethren, count it all joy, when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.  But let patience have its perfect (mature) work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing."  James 1:2

I always thought that verse meant that I should be happy when life is not going as I had hoped, according to MY plan, thanking God for everything, when my emotions are anything but happy.  “Put on a happy face!”  How long can we keep up the false front before it crumbles into a bigger mess?  

While washing dishes one day with the radio on, Dr Jeremiah, who I rarely listen to, was talking about James 1:2, and what I heard captured my attention.  

“COUNT IT” in James 1:2 does not mean that we are thankful for the trial.  It means that we see how God is going to use the trial in our lives, and we can be joyful as we envision the outcome, and thank God for the victory!  

I looked up the word "count it" from James 1:2 in Strong's, and this is what I found:  

1) to lead 

a) to go before

b) to be a leader

1) to rule, command 2) to have authority over 3) a prince, of regal power, governor, viceroy, chief, leading as respects influence, controlling in counsel, overseers or leaders of the churches 4) used of any kind of leader, chief, commander 5) the leader in speech, chief, spokesman 2) to consider, deem, account, think 

So, my interpretation of James 1:2 is that when we go through the storms and various trials, we are to envision the future, the victory, the marriage, and then lead, and take AUTHORITY over the discouragement and darkness that tries to keep us stuck, crushed and ineffective!

Yesterday as I was walking and praying, I imagined myself full of real joy, with a Godly husband, and I thanked God for that which is to come!  I am choosing to walk through the challenges of today with joy, knowing that the future vision is getting closer every day!  

No, I am running! 

"...And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.  We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.  Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame."  Hebrews 12:1-2 NLT

I will leave you with the definition of the word "endures"  from my bible notes:  

Strong's 5278  "To hold one's ground in conflict, bear up against adversity, hold out under stress, stand firm, persevere under pressure, wait calmly and courageously.  It is not passive resignation to fate and mere patience, but the active, energetic resistance to defeat that allows calm and brave endurance.  

May God give you endurance today, and I pray that as you close your eyes, and wait, you will see His vision for your future.  Then run towards that goal with Joy!  

We declare that we are MORE than conquerors in Christ Jesus!   We believe that our desire for marriage is from You, because You say that it is not good for man and woman to be alone.  So we agree with Your plans for our lives, to give us (those of us praying, and the other people called to partner with us in a Kingdom marriage) a future and a hope, to prosper us and not to harm us; to bring powerful people together for powerful marriages.  

We choose to endure these present challenges of life with the Joy of the Lord as our strength.  Thank you LORD for the active, energetic resistance to defeat that allows calm and brave endurance.  We declare that our eyes are on You Jesus; and our hope is in You.  

Let's run!

Amen!

Expecting to be amazed ~

Barbara

© Barbara Nelson – 2012

Rest

Fall is here, it snowed last week, and I finally turned my heat on in the house.  Does the change of seasons and crisp air stir your longing for companionship?  A friend called me last night to say she is getting back on Match.com, and I saw another friend post on Facebook about her new endeavor with online dating.  Perhaps it is the quickly approaching holiday season that elicits that deep ache we’ve been ignoring, and the question, “Am I going to be alone for the holidays?  Again?!”   

The change of seasons actually has me desiring a man to help me with all the "Man-Jobs" around my house!  I need a "Rent-A-Guy"!

Curly Girl Designs

My pastor gave a profound message yesterday about entering God’s REST.  Peter Young said that when we really learn to walk in REST, which is having such a faith in God, that we have the Peace of God that surpasses all understanding, the promises of God will be released to us.  Did you get that?   

Then he said, “When we catch rest, the promises of God will run to us!”  

Walking in rest is a spiritual discipline.  It is choosing to believe that God is going to be faithful when the worries, dread or disappointments haunt your mind.  

“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. [I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls.]  29 Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me, for I am gentle (meek) and humble (lowly) in heart, and you will find rest (relief and ease and refreshment and recreation and blessed quiet) for your souls.  30 For My yoke is wholesome (useful, good—not harsh, hard, sharp, or pressing, but comfortable, gracious, and pleasant), and My burden is light and easy to be borne.”  (Matthew 11:28 Amplified)

Declare today ~

Father God, I choose today to trust You with all of my concerns and worries.  I open my hands and release the tight grasp I have on these things:  (finances, relationships, kids, parents.....) and I trust You to work ALL these things out for GOOD, because I love you and I am called according to Your purposes.  I choose to turn to You, to trust You, and You will cause me to rest - You will ease and refresh my soul.  I take Your yoke of rest, and I will learn more of You, Lord God, for you are gentle and humble in heart.   Thank you that as I turn to you, give my worries to you, I will find rest - relief and ease and refreshment and recreation and blessed quiet for my soul!  I receive Your Rest!  And by the way, as I rest, will you send that man who can dance running to me?!  

Amen!

Expecting to be amazed ~

Barbara

© Barbara Nelson – 2012

Time to Pray and Declare

Three weeks after their first date, my father proposed, and my mother said, “What took you so long?” My parents marriage is a testimony to the phrase we say in our family, “God is the God of Romance!”  (as you read in yesterday's 1 + 1 = One.)  They are madly in love in their late 80s, after 60+ years of marriage, and the love they have cultivated and share is a love we all hope to experience in marriage.  

My mother, affectionately known as Babby, is an amazing woman of God, and she has spent hours praying (with my father) for our family, and hours praying for my future husband and I to meet.  A mother’s heart aches when the marriage of her youngest daughter is delayed or destroyed, and though my mother has often tried to “fix it”, and find the perfect male, or simply one with a pulse, daily she prays for me. 

Some of my mother’s famous quotes:  

“Onward and upward!” 

“Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again!”

“Be careful of the things you say (confess with your mouth) - your words are powerful!” 

Because of my mother's dedication to prayer, when she told me that there is supernatural power when we speak the Word and promises of God, I listened.  In recent years many of the Christian teachers I respect, are catching up to my mother, giving a similar message - that the words we speak have power to create, good or bad.  

A book was handed to me after a lovely dinner party with friends a couple of years ago, and that book has been one of the inspirations for me to pray about the desires of my heart for marriage differently.  Charles Capps, Faith and Confession is the book that reinforced my mother’s teaching over many years, and when I told her about my discovery of Charles Capps, she said, “Oh yes, I heard him preach many times!”  The same teaching that impacted my mother’s life, was now impacting mine.  Isn’t God fun?  

“God’s principles are involved in confession and the principles of faith.  The bible says ‘faith comes by hearing , and hearing by the Word of God.’It didn’t say that’s the only way we can get faith."

 “Hearing the Word of God causes faith in God and in His Word to come to you.  This spiritual force is also released out of your mouth when you speak God’s Word.  It actually releases God’s ability.  I believe that is one of the reasons Paul said -
‘I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.’”  (Philippians 4:13) 

“God’s word that is conceived in the heart, formed with the tongue and spoken out of the mouth becomes a spiritual force, releasing the ability of God.”  

So, if speaking, or declaring the Word of God regarding our desires for marriage releases faith, hope, and is a spiritual force releasing God’s ability, don’t you think it is worth stepping out of your routine box, and trying something new?  As one of my praying friends said, “it is sort-of an experiment!”  I believe that as we choose to make these declarations in agreement with each other, for each other, and for the many other people all over the world longing for a Godly marriage, we will see a shift, and an increase in marriages in our communities.  

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.”  (Proverbs 18:21)

The very next verse says....

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the LORD.”  (Proverbs 18:22)

Coincidence?  I think not!   

Choose to allow God and His powerful word to heal your heart from the battering of disappointments, and hope deferred.  

Choose to have faith in God, and by doing so, you are telling disappointment, fear and discouragement to hit the road, get lost, be gone!  

Choose to believe, and to hope again.  I am not promoting a formula - “do this and you will get married and live happily ever after,” but all things are possible with God!  At the very least, you will build up your faith, increase in hope and peace, and you will have more joy in the Lord.  

My first prayer of declaration for you is from Romans 15:13 - Amplified Version

"May the God of your hope so fill you with all joy and peace in believing [through the experience of your faith] that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound and be overflowing (bubbling over) with hope."   (Romans 15:13 Amplified) 

“I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
That I would see the goodness of the Lord
In the land of the living.”
Wait on the Lord;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord!  (Psalm 27:13-14)

I pray for you and declare - Do not lose heart!  I believe that you and I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living - soon!  So wait on the Lord, be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart!   Let’s endeavor together to bubble over with Hope!  

Amen!  

Expecting to be amazed ~

Barbara

© Barbara Nelson – 2012

Bitter Vinegar or Fine Wine?

"October is my Miracle Month!"  
My friend Amy has been declaring that October is her Miracle Month, and I say "amen", and me too!  We need to pray for miracles this month, not just for the nation, but for marriages.  For this Miracle month of October, I begin with a re-post written by my lovely sister Lisa.  And I encourage you to click on the blog, Changing Seasons for more from several women, at different stages in life.


Bitter vinegar or fine wine?

By Lisa Robertson Last month, my parents just celebrated their 61st anniversary.  What an incredible accomplishment! The truth is that it is more accurately described as a miracle. They met on a blind date, fell in love, and were engaged in 3 weeks and married in 3 months......and they lived happily ever after!  Not exactly.   I have always been so intrigued by their love story.  It always assured me that God is the God of Romance and He loves a good love story, especially when He is the author. From the perspective of one of their children,  a miracle is the best word for this love story.  I remember some evenings where my parents would be arguing (loudly)  late at night.  The children would stand in their bedroom door, watch them, and for a while the heated words would continue.  Mom and Dad were totally unaware of their spectators.  Eventually, they would notice us and being filled with regret, they would sweep us into to their arms and take us back to our rooms. The tragic death of a child, a business wiped out by the only flood in Denver since the days of Noah, serious challenges with rebellious children, were the platforms that sent my mother to her knees, desperately seeking God's strength and wisdom.   The fruit used in both wine and vinegar is often the same.  On a recent stroll in the grocery store, I noticed the words sherry, champagne, pinot grigio.  This was not  the wine aisle, but the vinegar row. The recipes for  making wine and vinegar use some similar words-crushing, fermentation, strain, and store. From the same fruit, and similar processing, can result in two very different products-wine or vinegar.  the final results depend on how it was fermented; the actions and the reactions. As I reflect on my parents marriage,  memories of their being crushed, strained, and even fermented are still there.  They had every opportunity to become a marriage filled with bitter vinegar, but instead they determined that together, with God, they would survive the process.  God-centered choices led them to become the best example of a perfectly aged fine wine. To this day, I still see chemistry in their love.  They have set an example of the importance of  kindness.  With the onset of Mom's macular degeneration, Dad has become the star example of how to love and serve one another.    But to me, the most important ingredient in their love story is their dedication to pray together every day. On a recent visit to Denver, I was heading to have breakfast with my parents.    Their voices, quietly joined together in prayer, startled me.  Like the child of years gone by watching a heated argument, I stopped and listened.  I was now mesmerized by the deep love expressed in their prayers.  Was I intruding on a private moment?  Maybe.  But on that morning, I learned like my parents, I have the opportunity to make the same daily choices as my parents.   Do I want the "process' of my life to become a self-centered bitter vinegar or  can I decide to "ferment" gracefully with kindness, faithfulness and love?  These are the ingredients that help to determine the difference between a  life that becomes a bitter vinegar or a fine wine.  And I don't know about you, but I'd take a glass of fine wine over bitter vinegar any day of the week!

False Summits

False Summits 

Have you ever hiked a BIG mountain?  Or ridden your bike a very long distance?  Or perhaps you ran a marathon or half marathon, an experience that is not on my to-do list.  Then you must know the feeling of a journey that evolved into a grueling, painful and long trudge.  At some point you see the end in sight....”I can do this!” Just a few more steps, around the bend, or just over that next hill, but then the sinking disappointment when you realize it was a false summit!  and somewhere in your being you must find the strength, courage, and hope to talk yourself into enduring the pain of the journey again.  It has become much longer than you anticipated.    

Those feelings of hitting a false summit are fresh for me this week.  Last Saturday, unprepared and not well equipped, I hiked and summited the highest peak in Colorado, Mt Elbert, at 14,482’ in elevation.  Just when my group of 4 were estimating the time remaining until we rejoiced at the tippy-top, we realized we were looking at a false summit - a counterfeit, the wrong one... again!   

The wrong one.... AGAIN?!  Now I am talking about meeting yet another counterfeit to the person you believe God is bringing into your life, the long awaited desire of your heart, your dream.  I know that feeling all too well, and it recently happened to two of my friends (a male friend and a female friend, but not interested in each other.) They were both exhilarated with excitement, believing that God had finally answered their prayers for a marriage partner!   The disappointment is crushing when you realize someone you’ve met, and begun opening your heart to is just another false summit.  Then the disappointment turns into anger with God to varying degrees.  But he can take it.  

Just like reaching the false summit I endured last weekend, I’ve known that same feeling when another potential man, who was perfect on paper and in my imagination, dissolves into an illusion.  “God, I don’t know if I can go any further!  I don’t know if I can meet one more counterfeit to the man I hope to marry!”   

BUT GOD!  He has created us with an amazing ability to rebound, to pick ourselves up and hope again!  To find the strength and courage to hike another 400’ in elevation to the real summit, even if it takes much longer than is comfortable.  He didn’t say it would be comfortable, He said that He is faithful, and He will never leave us or forsake us.  

I encourage you to hope today, and tomorrow, because God is good, and He IS faithful!  My male friend - well he recently met a girl that is a much better fit for him than the last crazy-counterfeit!  

Some of the verses I was speaking (declaring!) on our big mountain adventure might be just the refreshing words you need to continue on your journey to your dream of a Kingdom Marriage.  Oh, but first the lyrics to “Climb Every Mountain”, which I was singing it as I hiked, but I did not know how perfect the words are for our quest!  We are waiting for the dream that will require all the love we can give for as long as we live!  

"Climb every mountain Search high and low Follow every byway 

Every path you know 

Climb every mountain
Ford every stream
Follow every rainbow
Till you find your dream

A dream that will need
All the love you can give
Every day of your life
For as long as you live” 

“Righteousness will go before Him,
And shall make His footsteps our pathway.” 
And shall make His footsteps our pathway.”  (Psalm 85:13 NKJV)

“For the vision is yet for an appointed time and it hastens to the end [fulfillment]; it will not deceive or disappoint. Though it tarry, wait [earnestly] for it, because it will surely come; it will not be behindhand on its appointed day.”  (Habakkuk 2:3 Amplified)

 "The Lord God is my Strength, my personal bravery, and my invincible army; He makes my feet like hinds’ feet and will make me to walk [not to stand still in terror, but to walk] and make [spiritual] progress upon my high places [of trouble, suffering, or responsibility]!”  (Habakkuk 3:19 Amplified)

Take the next step!  God’s promises will be fulfilled!!

AMEN!  [so be it!]”  

Expecting to be amazed ~

Barbara

© Barbara Nelson – 2012

God Delights in Prosperity!

“Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.”  Jeremiah 33:3 

Today I was looking back at a post from last summer, to pray for a friend, and decided to share it again with you.   

Fear......I shared with you my recent entanglement with fear last week, and fear is not a one-day blog topic.  There so many fears affecting those of us who desire a great marriage, and even within marriages. Fear of lack of provision is one of the mountains that is often a hindrance in the way of a marriage relationship, and financial stress is the leading cause of divorce.  I don’t need to tell you that financial stress and fear is rampant right now, but how does that affect those of us who desire marriage, and is it slowing the process of meeting others to build healthy relationships?  

Financial struggles or concerns tempt us to take our eyes off of our Jehova Jireh, The Lord Provides, and succumb to fear.  

Recently I was expressing my financial fears, and my friend Debi said, “Do not focus on the lack, but look at the promises of God, and the Lord who Provides!”  Praying and declaring God’s Word and promises helps us to take our eyes off of the lack of relationships, or the lack of finances, and set our faces like a flint in the direction of the future and hope that God has promised.  

“The Word of God is not simply a story book, history book, or religious book.  God’s Word is creative power!  That power is still in the Word, but for it to work for you it must be released by being spoken in faith.  Unfortunately, most people are speaking words of fear and failure, speaking often of the depressed economy, lack of jobs, and shortage of finances.  They are saying what they have and having what they say.   

I challenge you to change what you are speaking and use your words to bring God’s provision into your life.  By speaking and confessing these scriptures daily, faith will be created in your heart and you will begin to see God’s creative power change the circumstances of your life.”  
Charles Capps “God’s Creative Power for Finances

The declarations today are taken directly from the Charles Capps booklet mentioned above.  Speak these scriptures over your life, and the life of the men (your future husband) called to Kingdom Marriages.  Make these confessions daily until faith comes. 

Declarations -

• God, Your Word says that whatever I bind on earth is bound in heaven and whatever I loose on earth is loosed in heaven.  Therefore with the authority of Your Word, I bind every force that has set itself against my financial prosperity (and the financial prosperity of the men called to Kingdom marriages, including my future husband!)  I HERBY DECLARE ALL CURSES AGAINST ME NULL, VOID , AND HARMLESS!  I AM REDEEMED FROM THE CURSE OF POVERTY!  I AM FREE FROM OPPRESSION!  I now loose the abundance of God and all that rightfully belongs to me now comes to me under grace in a perfect way.  

• I am filled with the knowledge of God’s will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding.  His will is my prosperity (Col 1:19)

• God delights in my prosperity.  He gives me power to get wealth, that He may establish His covenant on the earth. (Deut. 8:18, 11:12)

• I immediately respond in faith to the guidance of the Holy Spirit within me.  I am always in the right place at the right time because my steps are ordered of the Lord.  (Psalm 37:23)

• God is the unfailing, unlimited source of my supply.  My financial income now increases as the blessings of the Lord over take me.  (Deut. 28:2)

• As I give, it is given unto me, good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over. (Luke 6:38)  

• I honor the Lord with my substance and the first-fruits of my increase.  My barns are filled with plenty, and my presses burst forth with new wine. (Proverbs 3:9-10)  

• I am like a tree planted by rives of water.  I bring forth fruit in my season, my leaf shall not wither, and whatever I do will prosper.  The grace of God even makes my mistakes to prosper. (Psalm 1:3)  

• The blessing of the Lord makes me truly rich, and He adds no sorrow with it. (Proverbs 10:22)  

• The Lord rebukes the devourer for my sake, and no weapon that is formed against my finances will prosper.  All obstacles and hindrances (mountains) to my financial prosperity are now dissolved.  (Mal 3:10-11, Isaiah 54:17)

• My mind is renewed by the Word of God; therefore, I forbid thoughts of failure and defeat to inhabit my mind. (Eph 4:23)

• I am filled with the wisdom of God, and I am led to make wise and prosperous financial decisions.  The Spirit of God guides me into all truth regarding my financial affairs.  (John 16:13)  

• The Lord causes my thoughts to become agreeable to His will, and so my plans are established and succeed.  (Proverbs 16:3 Amp.)  

• There is no lack; for my God supplies all my needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.(Phil 4:19)  

• The Lord has pleasure in the prosperity of His servant, and Abraham's blessings are mine. (Ps 35:27, Gal 3:14) 

AMEN!  [so be it!]”  

Expecting to be amazed ~

Barbara

© Barbara Nelson – 2012